No, don’t say, “Har, har! Don’t you look like that every day?!” (very funny) because this was real.
It was my “morning off” which meant I wasn’t making breakfast so could lounge in my softie pants as I was doing the laundry and paying the bills and putting on makeup and answering the phone. Usually no one particular job is ever completed before moving on to the next; it’s kind of the nature of the business. As a person who relishes completing tasks, I’m still learning to live with the fluidity of letting things go and picking them up later.
So anyway, even with a morning off, there’s always a certain urgency to rush out the door to run errands while the time’s there. I had to get some things from Home Depot, go to the grocery store, return some things to Home Goods, come back and bake cookies and blah, blah, blah. I changed out of my softie pants and put on my new sweater from Mayita’s Boutique and my cute tall tan boots, and I was feeling pretty great when I went out the door.
My good mood and spirit and light must have been really shining through because everyone who waited on me would look at my happy smile, kind of cock their heads sideways like dogs do, then their eyes would open wide and they would smile back really big. It’s amazing what a good sweater can do for you. At one of the places the clerk pulled her friend next to her so they both could help me. Aside from the magic of a good sweater, have you noticed how people can be so friendly if you just smile first?
I left the crowded store and heard one woman say to another, “That lady looks like a lunatic!” I turned around to see what a lunatic might look like, but the person she was talking about must have already passed, because I sure didn’t see any weirdos. I did notice, though, that nobody else had a sweater and boots as cute as mine. Just sayin’.
I got in the car, looked in the mirror to check my lipstick, and actually gasped out loud. As you might have guessed, I was the lunatic! In my hurry to get out the door and with the picking up and putting down of various tasks, I had never finished applying all of my makeup. It was like this.
One eye was all done up with thick mascara and dark brown eyeliner swooping up in a cat-eye fashion (with, of course, a little highlighter under the brow and on the lid to accent and open the eye – I learned that in high school working the theatrical productions), and nothing on the other eye. You must understand that without makeup, my eyeballs look like those little white cocktail onions that float around in small jars of liquid that you can purchase at the grocery store. Not a pretty picture? No kidding!
Then – get this – to top it off I had applied lipliner and never put on lipstick! There was just a big red outline of a mouth! I was more offended by that than by my missing eye. I looked like a one-eyed, big mouthed, walking emoji. I left the house feeling like Jessica Rabbit, but instead found out I was Jessica Rabid. Not even the sweater could have saved me.
Worse, I wasn’t finished running around and had no makeup supplies, emergency or otherwise. With places still to get to, I tried to adjust my face by rubbing in the lipliner to give some all over color, but all that really did was smear it around, producing a chapped-lip appearance. And here’s a fashion tip: black pen as eyeliner pretty much doesn’t work. However, at least I didn’t look like a lunatic anymore – okay, yes I did, but really now more of a lunatic/cheap street walker. I gave up and went home. Some days are like that.
Now you know there’s always a takeaway in whatever you do, so what’s our Life Lesson here? Two things.
- Slow down, sister. Enjoy the gift of time off and softie pants.
- Always listen to your mother. Do you remember her advice to me from previous stories? “Never leave the house without your lipstick.” I won’t forget that again.
As you face your day today (haha, did you see what I did there?!), flash your bright smile and enjoy wherever it takes you. And next time you see me, I will have both eyes and a mouth politely and correctly colored in. 🙂